Becoming The Best Me

Being Kickass is really about being the best version of myself that I can be. This is a big, broad, sweeping statement that makes me sound kind of cliche. The truth is, all I want in life is to be . . . me. Ideal me works in a creative field were my schedule is flexible and just being myself is resume enough. In this perfect world I influence people and have an extensive group of friends who are from all walks of life. Ideal me shops at the market in the morning, works a couple of hours in the afternoon, meets friends for coffee, and then heads back home to make dinner for family with the food that I grew in my own garden. I know that this lifestyle does exist. I know that it isn't all butterflies and unicorns. Here is the question. How? I am not sure.

Right now I spend an ungodly amount of time waffling. It starts in the morning with, "I am going to be a Graphic Designer". At lunch I am not so sure Graphic Design offers the kind of flexibility I am looking for, maybe I should focus on being a writer. By dinner I am thinking,"Well sure everybody wants to be a writer, but is that realistic?". Then I decide I should go back to school and get a "real job". No more than five minutes later I am repulsed by that idea. By the end of the night I haven't actually made any progress but instead given myself a headache.

I just need to DO! Stop thinking so damn much and do something, anything. That is what this blog is about being someone who does. So here we are I am 13,500 words into a novel. I spend hours a week looking for Graphic Design jobs. I work nearly full time. And then I am still trying to stay on top of my weight loss goals. I feel a little like I am running at full speed on a treadmill. Sure I am exhausted but I haven't moved forward an inch.

I have made some strides. Thomas and I did move to Seattle as promised. I am down 25 lbs. and still losing, slowly, but none the less. I feel like there are more opportunities here which is reassuring but I want some promise that everything will be ok.

What will I do? More of everything. When I want to paint I will paint. When I want to write I will write. I will be successful come hell or high water.

Month of April - Write a Manuscript

As you know I have been interested in writing a novel. I was at Borders the other day and found a magazine "Write Your Novel In 30 Days". And so what I going to do? Write a novel in a month. This will require more focus than I normally have but were there is a will there is a way.
Obviously, at the end of 30 days there will be no published copy or fully edited novel, but I can at least have a rough draft. The magazine lists some common pitfalls of new writers, which I have already encountered a few of. So far I have 6 pages, a character grid, and a rough outline. The recommended word count for my novel is roughly 90,000 words. That means I need to be cranking out 3000 words a day. I may have to be a bit of a hermit for awhile as I now have a very pressing priority.
I know there are a lot of people who may feel me writing a book is an exercise in futility. I may never be sold on book stands or have book signings, but I will never know until I try. For now I am keeping the details of my book to myself and a few very supportive people especially in these early stages. I believe that I have the ability to lead the life I want to lead. I think people can be successful and fulfilled without a 40 hour work week. It just requires a mental shift of what you believe you are worth and how you value your time. I think a lot of people were raised in the same mentality that the harder you work the more you are worth. Meaning if you aren't sacrificing some amount of life than you are not going to amount to anything. Well I believe you can have your pie and eat it too.
It is time for me to find my pie . . .
I will update you all as the novel unfolds. Some people might feel it is impossible to write a book in a month. To which I say, if my book gets done in 2 months do you think I will complain? Absolutely not. Moral of the story don't let anyone steal your dreams!

How is Kickass going?

Well up to date I have lost 20 lbs since beginning Project Kickass. Still 20 more to go until my goal is reached. The weight loss has become a more gradual process recently my portions are smaller than ever and I generally work out 3 to 4 days a week. Things will become easier as summer roles around so then we can break out the bikes and start swimming again. I would love to feel comfortable in a two piece.
I was looking at my previous vision blog and realized I am right on track for reaching all of those goals. Tom has applied to University of Washington which would mean moving to Seattle. Back up plan involves University Of Oregon. I plan to attend a community college there until I also attend UW for English. As of now, my dream is to be an English teacher or a writer. Which brings me to my next project. . . I am writing a novel. I don't think I am ready to divulge all of it's plot right now but it will be witty, dramatic, and intriguing. The goal is to make it a series. I am working on character charts and the first chapter. So many ideas not enough time.
Next on my list was to be fluent in French and or Spanish. I picked up a French work book and will now be practicing my French on my breaks at work. I also need someone to practice my Spanish skillz with. (Yeah that is right with a "z") Believe it or not I was once nearly in fluent in Spanish.
Another goal of mine was to volunteer. My fellow coworker is amazing and so involved in a volunteer organization called Wags To Riches. They help place dogs in loving families. So starting next month Tom and I will be volunteering there. Which is great considering we love dogs but cannot have one in our apartment.I will be updating every one on our involvement there.
So long story short, come next October life will be right where it should be. I can't wait for our new lives to begin in Seattle. I can't lie I am already having separation anxiety and miss my lovely family,friends, and coworkers. Can't wait to fill you all in on the progress. :)

Bye Black Angus!

You may have noticed that for the last week and a half or so I have been MIA. Well big changes have been happening in my life. I quit my job of five years at Black Angus. I have looked forward to the day when I snap, yell at who ever has pissed me off, and triumphantly quit on the spot. Oh but did I mention that I am too careful for all of that fun. So, what did I do? Discreetly get an interview with Starbucks, get hired, and then graciously give my two weeks. God, why can't I be awesome and impulsive. So anyway, after all of my complaining, griping, and dreaming of the day I quit I am sad and sentimental. I love all of my friends I have made and in a strange way I will even miss the drama.

I have always made Starbucks into the pinnacle of the minimum wage employment. As I am quickly learning it is just a job. Pedaling someone else's products again. Don't get me wrong I am thankful for my new job, but it has made me realize I have settled again. I have chosen to take the safe road again. I am a trained graphic designer and damned if I am going to waste my 20,000 dollars in school loans by occasionally using Photoshop. No, I have more to offer this world than a smile and the ability to use a cash register. After my first few days of training, I have a new found respect for Baristas there is so much crap to learn. Seriously, people take their coffee very seriously. People can take what was a latte and turn it into some sort of magical and elusive unicorn warmed to exactly 175 degrees. It is the perfect excuse for some people who yearn for control to do just that control. Fortunately most of my customers thus far have been very patient as I learn as I go.

I miss the fact that I could come to work and essentially could deal with any situation and now I am learning how to sweep the lobby the Starbucks way. Isn't there a job out there that just consists of being paid to be creative? Oh wait that is called being an Artist. Now how do I get people to pay me? So what is my end game plan? Writing or Design. I am still looking at going back to school for English. If I were to write a book what do you think I should do mystery, children's, or sattire?

My last days at the BA. . .












I will miss you guys!